Captain Zogg


The reason my bundle of baby is often so grumpy is because he has a tough moonlighting job. You’d be grumpy too if you’d been defending galaxies from dastardly hostiles all night, then came home to someone insisting you hoist your legs up so they can get a nappy underneath you. (Furthermore, no coaxing in the world is going to convince you a yellow nappy is a ‘happy nappy’, and is somehow meant to make you happy too.)

The identity of ‘Captain Zogg’ was created when he was still a brand new person, and a popular facial expression he would do made him look like a creature of the sci-fi persuasion. He would purse his tiny mouth, and open his eyes super wide. I’m sure the bald cranium that was so huge in relation to his eyes had a bit to do with the label, too. My little alien baby. Captain Zogg, alien commander, defender of the realms.

It’s been fun to create this persona, and psychosomatically relieving to use it as a reason for his grouchiness. I enjoyed making the pictured photo manipulation, too — I imagine the exoskeleton armour is the kind of outfit he wears in the field. I sometimes toy with the idea of writing a little series, too: The Chronicles of Zogg. I don’t imagine I could bust impressively in the published children’s book scene with it though, and become the next A.A. Milne — the stories would just be for Timmy, really. If I write them for him instead of for a publishing house, they’ll probably sound better anyway.

Today I took the identity a bit further. I bought him a domain: (It’s what all geek parents do for their kids…right?)

I haven’t put anything there yet — and at the moment, I have no idea what I would. I’m just glad to have the domain name secured, for the eventuality. I don’t consider this an irrational expenditure. Domain names are the spare change part — it’s the website hosting that costs the serious dollars. I’d be most unhappy if I went to buy it later, after I’d decided what I’d put there, and found someone else had snatched it in the meantime. So I’m currently just holding it.

Somebody else is doing the same with the domain of his actual name, but I have an alert set up so if/when they ever let it lapse, I can swoop in and grab that one too. When Timmy gets older, he may find ‘Captain Zogg’ too embarrassing to have, and would rather disassociate himself from it. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind a self-named one, but I’ll have to wait for that to be available.

So…what could go at

[Edit, Jan 2015: Domain name now retired. It turned out to be a maybe-one-day idea that just kept getting shunted further and further down the priority list. Site now accessible at, so it doesn’t cost me anything while it collects dust. For some indeterminable reason, I can’t bring myself to simply delete it.]


(3) Comments

  • Mum
    12 Jul 2012

    Were you aware that A.A. Milne wrote his stories for his son Christopher (Robin) and not for publishing. Those ones are best. I think Christopher Robin was well and truly an adult before the stories were published. But you could put some stories on his webpage. Even include the “DPC” (dastardly plucked c*****n), a bit like the BFG. He who shall not be named.
    Love ya.

  • Elise
    12 Jul 2012

    I bought Calliope not one, but THREE domain names before she was 1. And got her a gmail account as well 😛 Dorkery knows no bounds!

  • Leanne
    13 Jul 2012

    Put photos of Timmy and other babies when they are newborn – at that endearing purple pointyheaded stage.

    You could run competitions for weirdest baby.

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